id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
