Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
