Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize