oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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