Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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