quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
try to milk me bitch
Randomize