lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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