Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
