4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
