dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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