question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
