his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
