Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
