I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize