I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
