Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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