i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
