Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
