Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
