I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
