butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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