Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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