So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
