i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
