I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
