is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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