these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
we made out on top of his cat.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
