ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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