eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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