dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
