Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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