I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
