what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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