ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
