The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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