May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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