I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
