Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
