i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
