I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize