I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
