Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
