So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Are we still banned from the library?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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