if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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