Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
