i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
