you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
