She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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