Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
