if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize