p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
