isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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