Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
