Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize