I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
