i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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